|male : left-handed : student : messy : a sucker for orange : no, and not color blind : audiophile : from belgium : dutch-speaking : english-speaking : french-babbling : sometimes just plain incomprehensible : an active Spleaker : a six-letter name : not a robot : a concoction by bert and me|
>> Way too much people just visit his blog for the Virtual Bartender 2 Commands.|
>> He wants to wear the Oompa Loompa costume (Candy Factory Worker) when nobody is watching.
>> The Willy Wonka costume (Candy Man Costume Large) is for pimps!
>> Oompa Loompa wigs Green Candy Factory Worker Wig will be the next hype after those ugly Ugg boots.
>> "to spleak" should enter the English dictionary
>> All Bad Mother Fuckers should own Bad Motherfucker Wallets.
>> A Grand Don't Come For Free is the first UK garage musical.
>> The Charlie and the Chocolate Factory remake will never beat the 1971's original!
>> This DVD will shock you!
dwergs listens to:
(man, this list is so outdated!)|
t.i. - why you wanna go and do that
todd terje - eurodans
layo & bushwacka! ft. green velvet - life2live (jesse rose remix)
lindstrom - i feel space
london elektricity - remember the future (high contrast remix)
benjamin theves - texas
mandy vs booka shade - body language
hans-peter lindstrom - i feel space
sharon philips - want 2/need 2
switch - a bit patchy
tomas andersson - washing up (tiga remix)
infekto - tonight
supafly inc - let's get down
les visiteurs - snoop's acid drop
johnny dangerous >> king of clubs
charles webster >> remixed on the 24th of july
mocky >> mickey mouse motherfuckers
radio >> studio brussel
concerts >> 3voor12
(man, this list is so outdated!)
Walk The Line >> 8/10
Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire >> 7/10
Robots >> 7.5/10
The Perfect Man 5.5/10
Bob the Butler >> 6.5/10
Along Came Polly >> 7/10
Lucía y el sexo >> 8/10
Sideways >> 7.5/10
Otnemem >> 9.5/10
The Man Who Knew Too Much >> 7.5/10
Rear Window >> 8.5/10
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory >> 7/10
Sin City 9/10
Collateral >> 8/10
The Manchurian Candidate >> 7.5/10
The Hudsucker Proxy >> 5.5/10
Requiem for a Dream >> 8.5/10
Zelig >> 9/10
Ray >> 9.5/10
Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind >> 8/10
The Aviator >> 8.5/10
Super Size Me >> 7/10
Finding Neverland >> 8.5/10
Amélie Poulain >> 9.5/10
Alexander >> 6/10
The Bloody Olive >> 8.5/10
Lost In Translation >> 7.5/10
The Village >> 7.5/10
Fahrenheit 9/11 >> 9/10
Shrek 2 >> 8/10
The Office 1+2 >> 10/10
Troy >> 8.5/10
Runaway Jury >> 6/10
Steve + Sky >> 6.5/10
Finding Nemo >> 8/10
Where I buy DVDs
Ik zen ne liejew!
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dwergs says: DWERGS SAYS HAS MOVED!
I'm now lifestreaming over at:|
This blog will stay put but it won't be updated any longer. Adjust your bookmarks!
One last time, the entire dwergs.com archives:
[12:00 PM on Tuesday, September 2 of 2008]
dwergs says: Three men and a little ghost boy
Wow! this video really freaked me out.|
...until I read this.
[0:53 AM on Thursday, June 26 of 2008]
dwergs says: Worst. Tattoo. Ever.
|Couldn't agree more.|
[1:50 AM on Thursday, May 22 of 2008]
dwergs says: Changing the world, one keyboard at a time
|Who said comics can't be educational?|
[16:11 PM on Friday, November 16 of 2007]
dwergs says: Eva Longoria Sex Tape!
[17:40 PM on Tuesday, October 2 of 2007]
dwergs says: ScreamBody
Vent your feelings anywhere, anytime with Kelly's ScreamBody:|
[16:12 PM on Friday, September 28 of 2007]
dwergs says: iPod Ghetto Blaster
|Pimp your iPod, Bronx-style. Due in 2008.|
[15:35 PM on Tuesday, September 4 of 2007]
dwergs says: Is that a cell phone stun gun in your pocket, or...?
|Why hasn't Nokia yet thought of this?|
[13:55 PM on Thursday, August 30 of 2007]
dwergs says: GPS Snitch
|Buy this tracking device and call yourself Jack Bauer. I know I would.|
[11:55 AM on Wednesday, August 8 of 2007]
dwergs says: Video, maestro!
|Wouldn't you rather own this than a dull, 19th century Steinway?|
[11:12 AM on Tuesday, July 24 of 2007]
dwergs says: Shitdisco: video = great / song = ok
[19:38 PM on Wednesday, May 30 of 2007]
dwergs says: You snooze, you lose!
|Get some Wakey'z gear ;)|
[11:50 AM on Wednesday, May 16 of 2007]
dwergs says: Victor
This Rules of Attraction clip is in my top 10 of all-time favorite movie scenes. Just bumped into it on YouTube.|
If the spoken text goes to fast for you, here it is written out:
Took a charter flight on a DC-10 to London,
landed at Heathrow. Took a cab to the city center.
Don't let people lie to you, hostels are for the ugly.
I'm staying at Home House, the most beautiful hotel.
Called a friend from school who was selling hash,
but she wasn't in. Met a couple of Brits
who take me to of all places, Camden Street.
I flirt a bit at the Virgin Megastore, buy some CDs,
then follow some girls with pink hair.
I wandered around trying to get laid until it started to rain,
then went back to Home House. "Ministry of Sound" is dead,
so I go to "Rem Forum," but it's "Gay Night."
I find one hetero girl and we dry-hump on the dance floor.
We cab it back to Home House, I strip her clothes off
suck her toes and we fuck. Hung out for four or five days,
met the world's biggest DJ, Paul Oakenfold.
Kept missing the Changing of the Guards.
Wrote my mom a postcard I never sent, bought speed
from an Italian junkie trying to sell me a stolen bike.
Smoked a lot of hash that had too much tobacco in it.
Saw the Tate. Saw Big Ben.
Ate a lot of weird English food. It rained a lot.
It was expensive and I'm jonesing-- split for Amsterdam.
The Dutch all know English so I didn't have to speak Dutch,
which was a relief. I cruise the red light district,
visit a sex show, visit a sex museum,
smoke a lot of hash. I meet a Dutch TV actress
and we drink absinthe at a bar called "Absinthe."
The museums were cool. Lots of Van Goghs
and the Vermeers were intense. Wandered around,
bought a lot of pastries, ate some intense waffles.
Bought some coke and I cruised the red light district
I found some blonde with big tits that reminds me of Lara.
I gave her 100 guilders. In the end, she pulls me out,
I come between her tits even though I'm wearing a rubber.
We made small talk about AIDS, her Moroccan pimp and herself.
I wake to the sound of a wino singing.
It's 8:00 a.m. and hot as blazes.
I pretend to ice-skate around Central Station.
Trade songs with a Kiwi girl, then split for Paris
Wandered the Champs-Elysees, climbed the Eiffel Tower
for only seven francs-- the ticket machine was broken.
Got the hang of the Metro, took it everywhere.
Ford model party, hooked up with a model named Karina.
She chugs my cock at the Marriott, which is good.
Played billiards, went shopping I think she gave me mono.
Drove a Ferrari that belonged to the Saudi royal family.
Made out with a Dutch model in front of the Louvre.
Saw the Arc de Triomphe-- almost became road kill.
"Oakie" invites me to Dublin, I catch an Aer Lingus flight,
stay at the Morrison-- Dublin rocks like you can't imagine.
Oakenfold lets me spin some discs with him.
Irish girls are small as leprechauns.
I swap hickeys with a drunk woman after groping my abs
and calling me "Mr.LA." She strips for me
in the bathroom of the club. Sneak into the Guinness factory
and steal some stout so good my dick goes hard.
I fly to Barcelona which is a bust.
Too many fat American students, too many lame meat markets.
I dropped acid at the Sagrada Familia,
which was a trip, to say the least.
Cruise up the coast to Museo Gala Dali,
but had no more acid, which sucked.
Some girl from Canada calls me on my cell,
so I let her listen to the church bells.
Canta Cruz is beautiful but there are no girls there,
just old hippies. So I went to Switzerland
where, ironically, I couldn't find anyone with the time.
Took Glacier Express to Shiltone
which is beautiful in a way I can't describe.
EuroPass into Italy, ended up in Venice,
met a hot girl who looks like Rachel Leigh Cook,
and speaks better English than I do.
She's living for a year on only $5.00 a day.
We gondola around, buy hash. She thinks I'm a capitalist--
my room costs more for one night than her entire trip.
She doesn't mind much when I pay the bills. I ditch her
and hook up with a couple who obviously want a threesome.
Much tension, but the doofus offers to drive me to Rome,
an offer I jump at. Traffic's bad, we're stopped for hours.
The wife's a freak. The guy wigs out on me.
It's like a Polanski film. We stop in Florence,
where I see some big dome. A bomb goes off
I lose the weird couple, which is probably for the best.
Ended up in Rome, which is big and hot and dirty.
Just like LA, but with ruins. I went to the Vatican,
which is ridiculously opulent. Stood for two hours
to get into the Sistine Chapel, which now cleaned, looks fake.
I meet two underage Italian girls who I try to talk
into fucking each other while I jack off onto them.
Bored, I buy them some ice cream instead.
My hotel has a gym, so I work out.
I bump into some guy from Camden who says he knows me,
but I'm sure that he's a fag, so I lose him.
I try to fart and instead shit my pants.
In my room I masturbate and have a pain in my groin.
I dream about a beautiful girl, half in water,
stretching her lean body. She asks me if I like it.
I tell her she can clean fish with it.
I don't know what it means, but I wake well-rested,
masturbate in the shower, and check out.
Make my way back to London, hang out in Piccadilly Circus.
Swap shirts with some upper-crusty Cambridge chick.
Hers was an Agnes B.; mine, it cost me my Chanel.
She acts stuffy and prudish, but is really wild underneath.
She barely looks at my abs, though she wants to.
The next day I drop acid and get lost in the subway
for a full day and can't find my way out.
I meet a cute girl that lets me jack off onto her
as long as no come gets onto her Paul Smith coat.
We get stoned while listening to Michael Jackson records.
The next morning, I wake up talking to myself.
I had a big bump on my head from flailing in my sleep.
I get my stuff and barely make my plane
back to the United States. I no longer know who I am
and I feel like the ghost of a total stranger.
So then I ended up back here.
[14:53 PM on Wednesday, May 9 of 2007]
dwergs says: Direct your own Sloggy billboard photoshoot
Collecting all Virtual Bartender commands is one thing, but when one of the girls in a similar campaign is actually someone from your own high school, it all becomes perverse...|
I'm talking about Jess at sloggifun.be (I suggest you try the basic commands from Virtual Bartender... and not only on Jess).
[14:02 PM on Friday, April 13 of 2007]
dwergs says: Grindhouse
Like many others in Europe, stupid Belgian movie theatres are splitting Grindhouse up into two movies Kill Bill-style with two months between both releases. I guess I'll have to fly to the U.S.A. to watch it as a whole then... |
Check out another teaser video and get your Grindhouse Display Pictures over at Mess.be!
[12:43 PM on Friday, April 13 of 2007]
dwergs says: Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover
Last year's Wear Sunscreen (watch it) was Lazyboy's Underwear Goes Inside the Pants (watch it). This year it's Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip telling us what (not) to do. And his lesson has a tough conclusion...|
Thou shalt not steal if there is direct victim.
Thou shalt not worship pop idols or follow lost prophets.
Thou shalt not take the names of Johnny Cash, Joe Strummer, Johnny Hartman, Desmond Decker, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix or Syd Barret in vain.
Thou shalt not think that any male over the age of 30 that plays with a child that is not their own is a peadophile… Some people are just nice.
Thou shalt not read NME.
Thall shalt not stop liking a band just because they’ve become popular.
Thou shalt not question Stephen Fry.
Thou shalt not judge a book by it’s cover.
Thou shalt not judge Lethal Weapon by Danny Glover.
Thall shalt not buy Coca-Cola products. Thou shalt not buy Nestle products.
Thou shalt not go into the woods with your boyfriend’s best friend, take drugs and cheat on him.
Thou shalt not fall in love so easily.
Thou shalt not use poetry, art or music to get into girls’ pants. Use it to get into their heads.
Thou shalt not watch Hollyoakes.
Thou shalt not attend an open mic and leave as soon as you're done just because you’ve finished your shitty little poem or song you self-righteous prick.
Thou shalt not return to the same club or bar week in, week out just ’cause you once saw a girl there that you fancied but you’re never gonna fucking talk to.
Thou shalt not put musicians and recording artists on ridiculous pedestals no matter how great they are or were.
The Beatles - Were just a band.
Led Zepplin - Just a band.
The Beach Boys - Just a band.
The Sex Pistols - Just a band.
The Clash - Just a band.
Crass - Just a band.
Minor Threat - Just a band.
The Cure - Just a band.
The Smiths - Just a band.
Nirvana - Just a band.
The Pixies - Just a band.
Oasis - Just a band.
Radiohead - Just a band.
Bloc Party - Just a band.
The Arctic Monkeys - Just a band.
The next big thing - JUST A BAND.
Thou shalt give equal worth to tragedies that occur in non-English speaking countries as to those that occur in English speaking countries.
Thou shalt remember that guns, bitches and bling were never part of the four elements and never will be.
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music
Thou shalt not make repetitive generic music
Thou shalt not pimp my ride.
Thou shalt not scream if you wanna go faster.
Thou shalt not move to the sound of the wickedness.
Thou shalt not make some noise for Detroit.
When I say “Hey” thou shalt not say “Ho”.
When I say “Hip” thou shalt not say “Hop”.
When I say "he say, she say, we say, make some noise" - kill me.
Thou shalt not quote me happy.
Thou shalt not shake it like a polaroid picture.
Thou shalt not wish your girlfriend was a freak like me.
Thou shalt spell the word “Pheonix” P-H-E-O-N-I-X not P-H-O-E-N-I-X, regardless of what the Oxford English Dictionary tells you.
Thou shalt not express your shock at the fact that Sharon got off with Bradley at the club last night by saying “Is it”.
Thou shalt think for yourselves.
And thou shalt always kill.
[11:04 AM on Tuesday, April 3 of 2007]
dwergs says: Attack of the Nerds!
I'm a user of the Proximus Mobile Internet service. Does that make me a nerd? Yes!|
[17:12 PM on Thursday, March 29 of 2007]
dwergs says: Beatboxing Joseph
Fuck pop idols, beatboxers pwn.|
[15:04 PM on Thursday, March 8 of 2007]
dwergs says: Say. What. Again.
[17:39 PM on Sunday, March 4 of 2007]
dwergs says: Quite possibly my next pair of cans
|Panasonic RP-HTX7 Retro Piano Painted Headphones. Retro chic.|
[15:07 PM on Thursday, February 15 of 2007]